"And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus." - Phil. 4:19 ESV
This past weekend I was really wrestling with God. I was super stressed about money... personal finances... all these little decisions that require money for recording our EP... just money! I hate money!
The more I wrestled with it, the more I was discouraged. Don't get me wrong, I KNEW my thoughts weren't Christ-like and I was praying that God would encourage my heart and change my perspective... have you ever wrestled with Him? Really wrestled? Questioned what He's doing (or not doing) in your life??
I think there is a healthy way to wrestle with God. Honesty is imperative to our relationship with Him. No one is capable of keeping a steady level of joy and perfection. Life is hard.
Getting stuck in destructive and discouraging thinking, though, is dangerous. The enemy can use it as a foothold. God truly does want you to bring your everything before Him... Let HIM be the one to take your burdens and lead you to truth.
You see, I had been fixated on the problem and my lack of trust and faith kept me from looking for the Solution. It sounds so simple, but I believe that when we have questions and choose to really press into God--instead of avoiding Him or running away from Him--we will find answers.
Monday, God was so gracious to clearly answer my prayers about provision and reframe my thinking. Three different examples of provision were laid out before my eyes:
Loaves & Fish
I've been reading through Luke and read the passage of Jesus providing food for 5,000 people (below) from 5 loaves and 2 fish. It's a familiar story, I know, but how often to we trust that our God can provide in miraculous and amazing ways?? O me of little faith.
"Now the day began to wear away, and the twelve came and said to him, “Send the crowd away to go into the surrounding villages and countryside to find lodging and get provisions, for we are here in a desolate place.” But he said to them, “You give them something to eat.” They said, “We have no more than five loaves and two fish—unless we are to go and buy food for all these people.” For there were about five thousand men. And he said to his disciples, “Have them sit down in groups of about fifty each.” And they did so, and had them all sit down. And taking the five loaves and the two fish, he looked up to heaven and said a blessing over them. Then he broke the loaves and gave them to the disciples to set before the crowd. And they all ate and were satisfied. And what was left over was picked up, twelve baskets of broken pieces." - Luke 9:12-17 ESV
We are currently hosting VBS at our church and I'm playing a part in the skit. My character had to emphasize (TWICE, mind you) the Biblical promise of the day: GOD HAS THE POWER TO PROVIDE! Every time the promise is said, the kids respond with "HOLD ON!" How perfect is that??? Hold on because our God has the power to provide. (Here is the video from that morning!)
Surpise Fun Money!
Anytime my husband and I get money in the mail we weren't expecting we call it "Surprise Fun Money!!" Monday afternoon, we opened the mail and what we thought was a medical bill was really a check from a medical bill we'd overpaid. PROVISION. I smiled and laughed and told my hubby that God was trying to tell me something all day. He will provide all my needs. I need only trust and rest in Him.
In fact, when we trust Him to show up, it turns into a better testimony to His power than if I bend over backwards, worry, and maniuplate my way. Let's trust Him to move and work in our lives... I mean, He is the Author of them. :)